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Not without a fight: How we hang on to limiting beliefs |
About two months ago I started going to the gym regularly, got myself a trainer and started using weights. At the same time, I started to cycle in to work about three times per week.
My aim was to get as fit as I could whilst enjoying the process.
After a few weeks I went to buy a new pairs of jeans and selected a 33″ waist pair to try on. Now, I have had a 34″ waist for years and so thought I was being optimistic that they would fit well. But actually, if anything, they seemed slightly loose! Hmmm, strange. There’s no way I could be less than 33″ and even that was a push for me to believe having been 34″ for so many years! I guess the jeans were designed to shrink in the wash.
That was about two weeks ago and in that time I have slimmed down further. And as I left the gym today in my virtually brand new jeans, I had to confess to myself that they were too loose! I really should have gone for a smaller size. So, why didn’t I?
That got me thinking how we hang on to beliefs about ourselves despite evidence to the contrary. In coaching, we call this “discounting” – in life I call it stubborness!
Surely, it makes sense that we see the good that we’re achieving and immediately change our beliefs or self-image? So why don’t we?
One reason amongst many is we’re conditioned to need consistency. Even when our beliefs are negative, they have the quality of consistency which is, in some way, reassuring.
What would change if our beliefs were wrong? What if we allow ourselves to believe something different then discover we were fooling ourselves? These are the little niggles at the heart of our reluctance to accept that our beliefs are wrong or we have changed.
We often hang on until the bitter end, not giving up our limiting beliefs without a fight.
So what beliefs are you holding on to that no longer fit you? And what is keeping you from seeing the new reality?
When you realise that things have changed and your limiting beliefs are wrong, I promise you you’ll never look back wishing you could have them again! So go ahead and change your jeans to ones that really fit you!
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Great observation!
So many actions that we take stem from the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and others, that ARE often outdated or just plain wrong.
We really should question our beliefs more often and where necessary.. change those belief jeans!
Reading this I realised that I do a lot of discounting, especially when it comes to recognising achievements. It feels sort of safer to trivialise them and move on to the next project. Dont know why, it just does