Coaching | The Smart School - Youth Coaching and Mentoring Blog

Recently I’ve been working on developing training for mentors. It’s part of the Mosaic mentoring in schools programe. The mentors are from local businesses, a lot of whom have not worked with or mentored young people. So part of the training is to get them to recognise their skills that can be shared with the young people, to be open to understanding young people and their world, as well as developing their confidence to work with the young people.

Now when I talk about confidence to work with the young people, it’s more about developing the confidence to work with young people when things are going…not as planned.

As a Youth Coach, I know that there are days when the plan just doesn’t seem to be working. This can be because one of the young people are in a particularly bad mood, upset, challenged by the work, or just having an off day. It can also be because I haven’t understood the young people and their needs.

So if you are going to work with young people, as a coach, mentor or teacher, there are a few things you can do to enable your sessions to go as close to plan as possible. Although I have to say, that sometimes throwing the plan out is just what’s needed.

Check in with the group or individual. Get a sense of how they are currently feeling, understand what is going on for them, right now and recently. Also check in with what is coming next in their worlds.
Listen to what is said and unsaid. Really hear the words that are being used, and check their meaning. Coaching and NLP enable you to develop your sensory skills. There is so much to be learnt form body language, watch it, read it, check it.
Share your plan. A lot of young people are not given the bigger picture, or the opportunity to discus, develop or change it. Which leads to flexibility.
Flexibility is a strength, the strength to let go of your plans, and your ego. Often we hold onto our plans because we feel that, that is part of our control, or part of our identity, and if we let go of it then we are giving something up.
Creativity to develop interesting and engaging sessions/lessons. And remember to bring your own creativity in. Use your known creative skills, be that music, storytelling or art.

Putting these steps into play when working with young people, will enable your session to run more smoothly, and if you are able to manage your own state then you are onto a winner.

I’d be interested to know the results you get from taking these steps. And the steps that you take to enable smooth, productive and engaging sessions, when you’re coaching/mentoring young people.

So there I was in a class full of young people who didin’t want to be there, and more importantly, didn’t want to be there with me!

We spent an hour with me asking questions, attempting to get some kind of rapport going, asking about their interests, wants and goals.

Needless to say today I wasn’t getting very far. The group had developed a new level of resistance, and it would seem that every new response, action or approach I took, was met at the pass. At one point I felt like a cowboy who had been sent into town only to be surrounded by the outlaws, who had no time for reasoning.

In that moment I could feel my own tension rising, my own anxiety. I wanted to get through to the group and felt that I was failing. So I decided to take a break, knowing that some of them might not come back, but a break was needed.

After 15 minutes of deep breathing, circle of excellence, bringing to mind my great teachers and mentors, and seeing it from their, the young people’s point of view, I went back into the class.

Once in the classroom, I began chatting to the young people, just about the work I do, youth coaching, teaching drama, directing, stage combat, to which a group of boys said “Can we do that sir… fight? Can you teach us that stuff”

“Yes of course I can.”

We went through some of the safety aspects first, then spent 20 minutes putting a fight scene together, sharing it with the rest of their class and support workers.

The boys, now please with their work, decided it was time to leave, head out into the sunshine, a full hour before the end of class!

I could feel the tension returning when one of the girls asked if she could speak with me. She had been working on a monologue for a sharing and wondered if I could help her with it. For the next hour we worked on her performance, with me asking questions about the character; who, what, why, when, where, how?

At some point during this time, we moved form directing to coaching, without talking about it, without naming it, but both knowing that we were not just talking about the character. The questions became about how the character might be different from her, what she might do differently to the character?

We started to play around with the “What if’s” looking for something similar in her life to that of the character, exploring the options that the character might have. During these questions, I gave her lots of time as I could see some serious thinking going on.

And then she nodded her head, asking if she could show me one more time. She stood up and performed an amazing monologue, with an emotional journey that brought tears to the eyes, a real mature understanding of the plight of her character, a tenderness and innocents.

When she finished, she drifted into her own little world for a few moments, and came back with a smile.

“That was amazing, well done. How was it for you?” she looked at me and simply said’

“Some days are tough days, but I think I’ll get through” She then stood up thanked me and left, leaving me wondering who had been the coach and who had been the client?