Tag Archives: trust

transformation in work and life

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pathway-picIn an organisational context transformation is a process of profound and radical change that orients an organisation in a new direction and takes it to an entirely different level of effectiveness.

Unlike turnaround (which implies implies incremental progress on the same plane) transformation implies a basic change of character and little or no resemblance with the past configuration or structure.

*http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/transformation.html

There are also key elements here that can be applied to our personal lives.

Firstly and importantly there are clear similarities between how people operate in the environment of an office and in there own lives.

So what are these key cross over areas?

Transformation has a certain level of permanency which in is very nature is different to change.

When people decide to make shifts in their own life or of a more general approach in the workplace there is a process that happens. This is known as the trans theoretical change model. Let us look at this and as we do maybe you can apply this to your own life.

Pre contemplation: when it is beyond our awareness that anything needs to change. We may be quite happily (or not) plodding along .The don’t know what you don’t know stage of being and thinking.

Contemplation: When we start to want to change whether that be in the way that we work and interact with people or something more selective and poignant for ourselves in our own life we then contemplate the change.

At this stage there is a self-enquiry as to what isn’t happening for us and what we would prefer things to be like. Things may be so bad that we are forced to look at the situation we are in and can now start to believe that the grass is greener and there must be a better way.

There can also be a passage of time in which many pros and cons are weighed up in what the change would bring and alter in both positive and negative ways.

Preparation: Clearing the decks, setting your house in order and getting ready for the change ahead and the work that is needed in order to make it happen.

We then move into action. In order for things to change it simply isn’t good enough or effective to think about the change. There needs to be an active movement towards creating a pathway and steps to what we want that is aligned with our values, that creates an energy shift and new direction.

We are being active in our own progress and doing not just being.

One of the most important stages of change is then the maintenance stage of the cycle.

You may have started to do things differently, work more effectively and generally be in a different place, which creates a noticing of this change in our lives.

In popular terms it is said that a habit takes 21 days to be embedded within our sub conscious. Whether this is true or whether it takes longer than this it needs to be maintained, worked with and support gained to increase the change to a level of permanency which could also be seen as positive transformation.

When people do not maintain the cycle at this level there can be what is known as a relapse, Back to how things were and the negativity that can rise from this point can set people back.

I also believe there could be shame and guilt thrown in. An inner critical parent that gives us a hard time for not keeping things moving.

People will then either give up and return to old ways or pick up the reigns and get moving again. Back on the horse.

I would also like to mention support at this juncture. We need to trust ourselves and we need to be able to trust others to show the support that we need in alter to transform our lives. Whether than be from our direct managers and peers or key people in our lives that we can share with and talk to. Some may need this more than others but to ask for help when we need it is crucial to maintaining the cycle of change.

The coaching framework is a great nurturing ground for this cycle to be looked at on every level and touch point.

The nature of the empathetic relationship between coach and client or peer can have a remarkable effect on the individual, congruently starting to shift perspective, create new ideas and strategies and also marked steps to reach the desired end goal.

I believe that within organisational structures there needs to be an open dialogue about the frustrations people feel and what the change could bring and how it can benefit not only the individual but also the impact in house on work related issues and concerns.

It is not effective to simply focus on the end result and how this can be reached in typical performance based coaching interactions.

People are emotive beings and if we can adjust to this and allow this to unfold and at the same time have a clear end outcome to strive towards we can help to create transformational shifts for people with empowering and long lasting results.

Getting over procrastination

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I will start this post with a question

What are you avoiding that you know would benefit you in your life?

Within my own experience as a transformational coach I have heard from clients in how they are resisting moving forward in certain areas and yet will happily do so in other aspects of their life that may not have such an impact.

Procrastination is not a unique dilemma and it causes many people a lot of frustration

The question is

Why do people procrastinate?

This could bring about a variety of answers and of course will be contextual to the individual coming to you for coaching and help. I will share my thoughts here and would love to hear your comments and for you to share your own experience on this subject.

Firstly I believe that procrastination goes somewhat deeper than we might first assume.

Why would people avoid doing what they often know would move them forward, create positive change and help shape their futures in transformational ways.

There could be number of reasons

Fear

Fear of being caught out, judged, reprimanded, told off for doing a bad job ,being anything less than perfect, being vulnerable and so much more.

Quite often these are childhood scripts and belief systems that have been picked up and added to in our own development.

Maybe a script of being perfect, don’t be seen or don’t be successful could be playing out which underlies the stuck feelings and procrastination.

Enjoyment

I think that people will generally (and this is a generalisation) spend time doing what they enjoy, what is easiest and what does not raise an emotional reaction from them.

Why would people spend time doing something they don’t want to and raises uncomfortable feelings? – whatever the reason.

Pay offs

When people don’t change and keep themselves where they are, what could they be gaining from this?

Although the behaviour / action or lack of action is not serving people on a conscious level it may well be serving them on a more subconscious platform.

They are possibly getting something from “not doing”

Sometimes people’s values are also beneath the surface or their procrastination.

For example you have a person – lets call him Mr Jones (keeping it simple) who knows that he would love to give a public speech on a topic close to his heart and in fact has the opportunity to do so.

A large audience would be there to see him, a guaranteed coverage from a well known tabloid and an opening of doors that would enhance his career and general financial state.

And yet Mr Jones leaves the preparation until the last minute, he does everything else that won’t help (watching catch up tv, going on the Internet, re arranging his furnishings, talking to his cat) and generally avoiding!

What he might be getting is a feeling of being safe, built into this is fear of “making a mistake” and being seen to “not be good at his job”.. That is far worse in his mind.

The end result is that Mr Jones avoids doing the necessary work involved or leaves it to the last minute – when the pressure is on …

The adrenaline is pumping and he is putting “himself” under pressure. It could also be a sense of control. The end result is not 100% tangible and can not yet be seen or felt.

Why would people trust in something that has no certain outcome? I believe that trust plays a large part in why people stop themselves moving forward.

Lack of trust in others, lack of trust in themselves.

After all who can they rely on?

I will also briefly introduce the self saboteur.

The person who will create drama and anguish for themselves , where in fact there is none.

I have often seen how people before a big event will stay up late, go out drinking, get tired, get unwell and will cancel at the last minute to avoid being seen or ….(fill in the gap)

There are many reasons why people procrastinate…I would like you to question your own motives and of course bring this into alignment to the clients you work with.

Get beneath procrastination not beaten by it. Do share your own stories and comments below.

Building trust in coaching

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What are some of the key elements in coaching?

This can be answered by many different responses. Maybe simple questions, holding space, active listening, using coaching models, reflection, clarification, feedback and so much more.

A very important part of the session and how you interact and connect with your client will be in the area of trust.

Trust is a core element of creating connection with your client, allowing open and honest discussions from both sides and also allows the client to feel safe and to talk about what they need to and not what they really feel they should be talking about.

How do you gain trust?

Interestingly is this something that needs to be gained or do you allow for trust to be there on your first interaction with the client?

My view is that trust starts to be created the very moment you meet a potential client. At this moment you are building rapport.

I often here coaches “selling” themselves and their products far too soon without really getting to know what the client wants and how they would benefit by working with you as their coach.

When I have worked with clients I listen to what they want to know, tell them what they want to hear and fill in any gaps in knowledge that are pertinent to them.

This allows a natural rapport without it being forced and can start to build the trust that is so important within coaching interactions and future sessions.

This however should be maintained. Simple ways of doing this could be

  • Deliver what you promise whether this be in follow up notes, actions that you have agreed to undertake as their coach and being prepared for the session in advance and being on time and ready to coach.
  • Show empathy and be supportive in the session
  • Outline clearly how you work as a coach and bring into the equation a contract agreement in how you work, what you expect but also and very importantly what they can expect of you.
  • Make sure to not judge the client’s views, opinions or beliefs but rather explore with them any areas of difference that could be more useful for them to open up and look at with your help.
  • Trust that the client is not broken but could be operating more or less effectively in any given moment.
  • This comes from person centred theory that is the lynchpin of transformational coaching.
  • Allow them to make mistakes, revel in triumph, take risks and explore their goals, desires and aspirations.
  • Be ok with not being ok yourself. You really do not need all the answers but are simply an explorer in the client’s world.
  • Above all trust yourself!

You may not know the best model to use or the most powerful question to ask but allowing yourself to be open to the experience of the coaching and working with your client in a way that allows for real and authentic interactions has in my experience been the best way forward.

Answers do come, models appear when needed and you may get a sense of what needs to happen and the most useful and purposeful question to ask.

This is not about being perfect but willing to take risks and remove your own agenda.

Trust the process.