Tag Archives: goals

transformation in work and life

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pathway-picIn an organisational context transformation is a process of profound and radical change that orients an organisation in a new direction and takes it to an entirely different level of effectiveness.

Unlike turnaround (which implies implies incremental progress on the same plane) transformation implies a basic change of character and little or no resemblance with the past configuration or structure.

*http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/transformation.html

There are also key elements here that can be applied to our personal lives.

Firstly and importantly there are clear similarities between how people operate in the environment of an office and in there own lives.

So what are these key cross over areas?

Transformation has a certain level of permanency which in is very nature is different to change.

When people decide to make shifts in their own life or of a more general approach in the workplace there is a process that happens. This is known as the trans theoretical change model. Let us look at this and as we do maybe you can apply this to your own life.

Pre contemplation: when it is beyond our awareness that anything needs to change. We may be quite happily (or not) plodding along .The don’t know what you don’t know stage of being and thinking.

Contemplation: When we start to want to change whether that be in the way that we work and interact with people or something more selective and poignant for ourselves in our own life we then contemplate the change.

At this stage there is a self-enquiry as to what isn’t happening for us and what we would prefer things to be like. Things may be so bad that we are forced to look at the situation we are in and can now start to believe that the grass is greener and there must be a better way.

There can also be a passage of time in which many pros and cons are weighed up in what the change would bring and alter in both positive and negative ways.

Preparation: Clearing the decks, setting your house in order and getting ready for the change ahead and the work that is needed in order to make it happen.

We then move into action. In order for things to change it simply isn’t good enough or effective to think about the change. There needs to be an active movement towards creating a pathway and steps to what we want that is aligned with our values, that creates an energy shift and new direction.

We are being active in our own progress and doing not just being.

One of the most important stages of change is then the maintenance stage of the cycle.

You may have started to do things differently, work more effectively and generally be in a different place, which creates a noticing of this change in our lives.

In popular terms it is said that a habit takes 21 days to be embedded within our sub conscious. Whether this is true or whether it takes longer than this it needs to be maintained, worked with and support gained to increase the change to a level of permanency which could also be seen as positive transformation.

When people do not maintain the cycle at this level there can be what is known as a relapse, Back to how things were and the negativity that can rise from this point can set people back.

I also believe there could be shame and guilt thrown in. An inner critical parent that gives us a hard time for not keeping things moving.

People will then either give up and return to old ways or pick up the reigns and get moving again. Back on the horse.

I would also like to mention support at this juncture. We need to trust ourselves and we need to be able to trust others to show the support that we need in alter to transform our lives. Whether than be from our direct managers and peers or key people in our lives that we can share with and talk to. Some may need this more than others but to ask for help when we need it is crucial to maintaining the cycle of change.

The coaching framework is a great nurturing ground for this cycle to be looked at on every level and touch point.

The nature of the empathetic relationship between coach and client or peer can have a remarkable effect on the individual, congruently starting to shift perspective, create new ideas and strategies and also marked steps to reach the desired end goal.

I believe that within organisational structures there needs to be an open dialogue about the frustrations people feel and what the change could bring and how it can benefit not only the individual but also the impact in house on work related issues and concerns.

It is not effective to simply focus on the end result and how this can be reached in typical performance based coaching interactions.

People are emotive beings and if we can adjust to this and allow this to unfold and at the same time have a clear end outcome to strive towards we can help to create transformational shifts for people with empowering and long lasting results.

Developing yourself as a coach

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With the merriment of Christmas now slowly sinking into by gone 2012 and with 2013 ripe around the corner I wanted to share something in the world of coaching that is close to my heart.

I believe that coaching is not just a skill set but also an art form that requires various approaches to be developed into a congruent, person centred and powerful transformational process.

When you learnt to be a “coach” you may have attended a life-coaching course, read books to help in asking questions and on the fundaments of coaching, watched videos and listened to podcasts on the ever increasing world of coaching and its applications and created your own learning in honing your skills as a coach.

To master a skill takes time but also a need exists for you to be on top of your own development.

Within a life coach-training course there is limited time to learn new models, skills and approaches that will need to be practiced out in the world and with clients.

There are a huge variety or approaches within the new world coach that encompasses areas from the worlds of therapy and personal development.

Coaching, as we know by now is not a simple goal setting approach using the out-dated GROW model but is a fluid fusion of skills and techniques that put the client at the very heart of the relationship.

Drawn from the worlds of Cognitive Behavioural coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming, Transactional Analysis, Gestalt, Somatic coaching and existential theory the coaching tool kit has never been so full.

The challenge here for new coaches and old hat coaches alike is to continue to learn, keep their coaching tools clean and sharp and also remember what tools do which job.

This takes time, energy and practice.

I also believe that a high emotional intelligence is required in order to do the best job possible and part of this will be to get the correct and right amount of support for you as an individual helping others.

This could be to get a coach for your own goals and needs, enlist the help of a mentor within the field of coaching, gain professional development by attending courses, seminars and workshops.

I also advocate getting emotional support when needed to address deeper underlying concerns that will give you clarity on who you are and what you bring to clients in a fully focused and congruent way.

There are a myriad of books on coaching and self-development.

I encourage that you read up on new best practice, strive to keep reading and take what you want and leave the rest.

We can absorb only a small proportion of the huge amount of information that is given to us on a daily basis and through natural ways of filtering information it may not be possible to become a self help  / coaching guru but you will indeed resonate with key parts of books that have emotional meaning for you.

I would also say that no matter how good your skills as a coach are, you also (if required) need to learn about business.

It is fantastic to help people accomplish their dreams but maybe a self-enquiry as to the real reasons you want to do what you do is also useful (Maybe invest in some coaching too)

Have you thought about how much money you would like to make from your coaching?

The key to being a successful coach is to determine what success means to you and creating a vision and plan to obtain this.

Also, we don’t stop learning and with the world of coaching expanding constantly it is up to you to step into your fullest potential.

I wish you every success for 2013 and look forward to connecting with you and sharing more from the world of Transformational Coaching.

transformation and your own learning as a coach

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Today I would like to share my own thoughts and experience in learning and how to bring this to clients.

When people learn a new skill to help others I believe there is an element of transformation that will be two fold.

Transformation for the clients that come to you for coaching, and also transformation in your own life that can enrich what you do and who you are in exciting ways.

I can cast my mind back to many different training courses that I have been on where I have learnt new skills and tools that whilst I am in the learning domain on the day can be exciting and purposeful but become diluted and less impactful after the event.

Whilst adding to my skill sets in personal development and coaching is not a bad thing in itself I also feel that to have the most impact personally I need to on some level connect with the learning that has taken place and part of this will be a certain self enquiry in to my own cognition, feelings and emotions and proceeding actions and behaviours that have shifted in light in what I have learnt.

What is the most useful part of the new experience and how can this be appropriately brought into my own client practice when coaching?

I also see this, as a bit of a balancing act that I need to be aware of. Not to bring my own agenda to the client – coach session that could impact the coaching exchange in negative ways.

I like to see my own learning as a container of experience that can sit comfortably in my conscious awareness that does not need to be discussed in front of a client.

I am not the benchmark of my client’s experience. I am just an explorer in their world and when underpinned by curiosity and connection can alleviate my need to get it right and be perfect.

I also do not need to fix the client in anyway.

Coaching is a wonderful and elegant exchange of conversation that is best served with meaning with a side dish of purpose.

A smorgasbord of richness and experience in my client’s world that is fully person centred and congruent with a strong belief from me that the client I am working with is not broken.

If I deliver a solution or fix the clients “apparent” challenge, who is this about?

I am also not going to be black and white here in saying that there aren’t times that this could be useful as there could be a great deal of frustration felt by the client if I am coaching them into dead ends when a simple suggestion or a well framed amount of advice could help them move ahead and with greater clarity.

I see time and again how people on our Personal Transformation Coaching course have had heart felt shifts on meaning, experience and I have had feedback that I have “seen” myself clearly for the first time in my life.

The conditioning from parenting is being questioned, some of what people continually do with less than desirable results may start to change and also the need for validation and approval from clients will start to shift into one of trusting the process and not needing to get a feel good from my clients changes but rather a deeper routed acceptance of my capabilities as a transformational coach.

When you are out in the world creating change ask yourself what can I learn and how can this be useful to others.

 

mix and match in coaching

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With the complexity of clients and what they bring to coaching there is also a need for you as the coach to be flexible with the way you coach and the experience that you bring to a session.

A common thread in a lot of my posts is that coaching does not always need to bring in just a typical goal setting approach and tasked based formulae to helping people achieve outcomes, but can through coaching style conversations bring clarity, purpose and meaning to clients in their life.

I also see coaching as a dedicated art that needs to be practiced to hone the skill of being a coach.

Also the need to coach congruently, confidently and with the client at the centre of the dialogue is desired.

It is also true to say that depending on what the client brings to a session will determine the way you coach.

This may mean that you do work with smart goals to allow exploration of all the key points of the goal.

The key point here is that if we just focus on goal setting when other areas need to be uncovered and explored then we are not only not coaching ineffectively at times but actually not giving the client the best experience.

The core transformation for individuals may not be typical coaching questions in how are you going to get to your goal but what is getting in the way at present?

I have coached top executives in corporate settings that at first want to ”just” focus on the problem at hand and what isn’t working but also want to get a quick fix in getting better results for the business whether that be higher turnover, more profit or other areas of concern.

In fact one client said categorically that he didn’t want to talk about emotions.

Did this happen?

At first we looked at what he wanted to change in terms of his business and what this would mean to him and started to formulate very specific goals and how he would be able to measure success in his own way and words.

The coaching then took on a different energy when I asked if you know this to be what you want and what could help why aren’t you doing this already?

This is where we started to go beneath the surface of the goal and look at values of the company but also we started to look at my clients individual values in terms of his place as company director. This also brought into the mix limiting beliefs.

It was deemed through exploration that my client was striving for “perfection” his map of the world demanded this and when asked where has this come from? The clients’ parenting was brought into the equation.

How his father had given him messages as a child that you have to be perfect to succeed.

This was a task too much and a benchmark that caused my client to transfer the being perfect script onto peers and colleagues.

People were rebelling (a bit like resistant children to a critical parent) and key work tasks were not being completed and things were not getting done.

Staff were turning up late or not at all and the general atmosphere was negative and unproductive.

The useful part of this coaching session was that my client had a shift in perspective in how a deeply rooted belief system was getting in the way and causing issues.

I worked with my client to not change his values but to understand how his belief system was creating limitations for him. We worked on changing his limiting belief with a wonderful and powerful tool to help this happen.

The end results were that he was more realistic with himself in achieving success – he said a weight had been lifted (that he had been carrying since childhood) and the way he would work with his staff would be to get to know them more and to understand their drivers, motivations and values.

Part of this was to later bring in actions and accountability to these actions but the session was (as you can see) not just goal setting.

In subsequent sessions we reviewed progress and his staff morale was much better, sickness had decreased by 50% and targets being achieved were 6% higher, which increased bottom line profit.

The key to this transformation was that we did look at more personal areas of the client’s life but linked them to the goal at hand. The goal was not the fundamental milestone. Although we needed to start with this initially.

This was a very useful experience for my client and emotions were discussed but with purpose, confidence and skill to make them relevant to the client and their situation.

The next time you are coaching be flexible with your approach, understand what is required and trust yourself to work in the best way. “for your client”

 

Bridging gaps in coaching

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In todays post I would like to share my thoughts on the idea of bridging gaps within coaching.

In fact not just in coaching but also other areas for when you work with clients and people who are looking for change and transformation within their life.

A great example of this concept is within personal and romantic relationships.

Many people would say that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else or get into any form of personal relationship.

To make this clear I would like to introduce Mr Do-nothing who to be honest does not value himself very highly, is lacking in confidence and also not very experienced and knowledgeable in matters of the heart.

If you were to say to Mr Do-nothing you “have” to love yourself first before you can get into a relationship imagine the dilemma.

This is a man who has low self esteem (years of bullying at school didn’t help) a man who has few friends or social interaction (not because he doesn’t want to but he has little self confidence)

A man who is crippled with anxiety and depression (at times) but one thing he does know he doesn’t “love” himself. In fact he doesn’t actually like himself very much at all.

From this state to one of loving himself may seem a tall order.

Surely it would be a better approach to help Mr Do-nothing to start to learn to like himself? To create stepping-stones to get further ahead in his life. To start to see himself differently and in more empowering ways than he is currently. We can help our Mr (and Mrs) Do-nothings bridge this gap.

The same concept would apply when we are dealing with performance based coaching. If a staff member is not achieving what the manager requires we need to have an honest approach when working with this individual. They may not be able to turn from low performer to high performer overnight.

We as the coach can bridge the gap in helping them “get better”.

This could be a skills gaps, a confidence boost or motivation, or simply for someone to pay them attention in different ways that could be more empowering and positive.

How can we best motivate others to move forward “towards “optimal living or performance?

We need to support, encourage, challenge and ask purposeful and powerful questions that help our clients think differently. This can be a process of self-discovery for people that come to us for help.

The truth of the matter is that when we coach we need to understand that we may not transform people’s lives in one session (although I am not saying that this cant happen).

What we do is to create a space for exploration and ultimately help people move towards what they desire.

This can be slowly or quickly but will materialize if we work with our clients best intentions at heart and keep this in mind with any coaching sessions that we undertake.

Through our coaching conversations, goal based approaches when required and using our skills and knowledge we can help create a hypothetical bridge from their current state or situation to where they want to be.

It is our role as change creators to allow this to happen for the people we work with.

Letting go

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Today I was sitting thinking about coaching and some of the challenges that coaches face when they work with clients. Not just this but also the challenges that clients will bring to a session to work with their coach on.

One thing that struck me was the concept of letting go.

In many areas of self and personal development the idea of letting go is widely used and recognized.

I would like to take this opportunity to share my own ideas of what this could mean within the world of coaching.

This is two fold – firstly for the coach and also for the client.

I have noticed at times coaches feeling that somehow they are solely responsible for any results within coaching sessions and they can subconsciously drive the session to these results.

The coach may have an idea of what success means in terms of helping people to move forward to desired outcomes and achievement of goals.

The coaching session will go through different stages of self-inquiry for the client and they will talk about what it is that is bothering them, what they would like to change and what this could mean for them and the bigger impact of change in their life.

When we can truly flow with the client and the session the need for a set outcome can dissolve and we are then working on a very person centered level and allowing the learning for the client to be truly about them and not what we think they should be doing to get results.

The ebb and flow of the coaching session takes on an air of elegance and a rhythm that is unique to the individual we are working with.

We can measure our success as coaches on what results the client is getting and their personal shifts as they go through the process of the session and not on what “we” are looking for as success.

We need to let go of getting it spot on perfect or seeing our value as coach on what we think the client should be achieving but rather see and feel what is presented to us from the people we work with and take on board what they have gained from the experience.

The client will also be letting go within a transformational session.

They will let go of their versions of reality where there life is not serving them any more, let go of limiting beliefs to be replaced with more positive empowering beliefs and also let go of negative behaviors that keep them stuck and unhappy to be replaced with more purposeful ones.

The process of letting go for both the coach and the client is based on trust and rapport within the session.

Allowing the session to unfold naturally without due concern with exactly and how the end result will be.

When you next coach take these ideas into the session and see what happens for both you and your client.

10 key questions to kick start your coaching

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For those in the know and for those who are interested in the field of coaching one of the key parts of gaining results and helping people to fundamentally transform their lives will be asking simple and purposeful questions.

There isn’t a rulebook of questions that needs to be adhered to or a cheats guide in how to do this.

Once you have established rapport with a client, built on the trust that is on going and essential for coaching to be useful you will need to then work with the client in establishing an arena for change and what they want to gain from working with you.

I have put together 10 key questions that are simple to deliver, purposeful in their aim and allow the client to reflect on what they would like to see change in their life and also lead into further questioning.

Also and very importantly it allows the client to feel the impact of what your coaching could give them in positive ways.

What area of your life causes you the most frustration?

Coaching is best served at the level of most impact, which is where life isn’t “working” for the client, where they might feel stuck or not sure where to go next and how you as the coach can help.

What do you have some of that you would like more of?

This question hones in on the positive aspects of the clients life, it also allows time for them to reflect on how gaining more of the “good stuff” could be useful for them.

If this time next year nothing had changed in your life how would that be for you?

The idea is that people sometimes will resist change (even though things can get bad for them) and by looking at the consequences of not changing this can be a start in the client taking responsibility for how they could be doing things better or differently

If you were operating at your best what could change for you?

Again this looks at the impact of change, utilising resources and the client stepping into their full potential

What do you need to start taking responsibility for your life?

This is a direct and provocative question that can seem quite challenging. The idea sitting behind it is one of ownership. The coaching relationship is about empowerment and bringing about an adult communication, which will frequently produce an element of the client taking responsibility for their choices and actions or indeed non-action. i.e. not doing.

Is there anything in your life that you really want that no one yet knows?

Quite often the very nature of coaching allows the client an unspoken permission to share what they truly desire, what they are passionate about and what they would love to have – even though they may dismiss it as being rather silly or unimportant

What is stopping you living the life you really want?

This is a key exploratory question that can bring up all sorts of answers from the client. It then starts to create a picture of what they see is their problem, whether that be old and withered beliefs that are still hanging on or other key areas that are limiting the client

Imagine you were living the life you want to, what would be in it?

This is bringing in a hypothetical approach to coaching. This can often bypass the negativity that I am sure you know too well and that can surface in coaching sessions with clients and in ordinary conversations of course!

If you were name one thing that gets in your way what is this?

This narrows the focus of the mind, allows the client to get clarity and get focused, which of course can then be built up on and opened up again – this is especially useful for a client who just sees everything as always awful.

Knowing what you know about yourself what are you overlooking that could be useful?

This is an interesting question, it also positions the client as the expert in their life (which of course they are) it will either give you a real insight from the client in how they see themselves or may throw up more to work with – either way it creates a great opportunity for coaching to happen!

This list is not a compulsive tick box approach to coaching and is not exhaustive.

The main part of questions is that they are purposeful, simple and with intention on finding out more from the client.

Good luck and would be great to hear how you get on…

Time Travel in Coaching

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In coaching there are many questions that raise a hypothetical awareness to a session. In other words we ask questions to a client that look at the potential of achievement and what this could be like for them.

The goal hasn’t yet been reached, the outcome not yet achieved and the client will still be looking at what they have to do in order to get what they want to.

A useful and in my experience very powerful technique for helping someone “experience” the future as if they have already achieved it is called future pacing.

This comes from the world of Neuro Linguistic Programming and can be used as the next step once the initial and desired outcome has been talked about and decided upon from the coaching session.

The first time I tried this technique I did say to myself this is just a bit crazy and won’t really be useful.

I was sure that my client would think it was just too way out for them to really buy into the experience.

As I became more experienced at coaching and helping people transform their lives I started to believe in my abilities to make a difference and believed that the client would get good results.

This approach has always worked and I make sure I go into the session prepared and confident in what I am doing.

To make it clear I will break the process down step by step.

1. Have the client describe their outcome in sensory-specific detail and with the date they will have it. What are they seeing, hearing, feeling etc?

2. Identify locations in the room that represent that present and the future time when they have the outcome

3. Walk the client out to the future location and have them recall the outcome in detail

4. Have them look back at the last step they took and ask what they last step they had to take was to get to their present location.

5. Once they have described that step, make notes of it and ask them to step into that last place.

6. Then repeat the process step by step to the present.

7. Ask what the client got from that journey and then coach from the results

It is a very useful technique that works with the unconscious mind and will install that the client has already achieved what they had set out to do.

The key is that you as the coach look back at the past situation using a past tense in the words and questions used and that the situation as it is now that it has been achieved is talked about in the present tense.

This encourages the unconscious mind to trust the process and believe in what is happening.

To me this is like time travel for the mind and the clients that I have worked with in this way have loved the exercise and very importantly got amazing results in hugely positive ways.

Is it time travel? No of course not but it may well be the next best thing in helping someone to achieve what they want to.

GROW no more

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Welcome to my soap box and do climb up here with me. There is plenty of room!

This is not a serious analogy of what I mean but as the expert in Transformational Coaching I would like to talk about a well known coaching model: GROW.

I want to make it very clear that I am not saying to drop GROW with no other approaches at your disposal but would also like to make it very transparent as to the benefits of other approaches.

When I think of the GROW model I think of an action based approach to coaching that is structured in its approach and with a key focus on action plans that build in timings and accountability within the model.

The concern I have have with this and in my experience is that clients will follow action plans and may well achieve what they set out to do.

“How is this a problem?”, you may ask!

What I have seen happen many times is that the client will be happy for a while, be productive for a short space of time and feel OK.

This may not last. And that’s where the question lies.

In the middle of the change, what happens to people that creates a retreat in their accomplishments back to where they started?

Sometimes with a higher degree of frustration and being not OK. The insider’s tip is that the real work has not been done. The level of deeper meaning may not have been talked about or explored for the client.

Beneath the surface of a goal will sit the client’s values and beliefs, attitudes, memories,  and so much more.

This is where the shifts can occur. On this level of coaching that sits beneath the surface of the initial “goal”. When coaching at this level it will allow for a fusion of skills, approaches, presence, curiosity and creation of a new way of being in the world for the client not just doing and actions.

This approach blends Cognitive Behavioral coaching, Transactional Analysis, NLP, Gestalt, spirituality and more.

People do want more than change. You may have heard the the only constant is change. This may be true.

Transformation is so much more.

These coaching skills can be learned, practiced and honed to fit in with who you work with, how you work and who your target groups are.

Give it a go and see what happens!