transformation in work and life

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pathway-picIn an organisational context transformation is a process of profound and radical change that orients an organisation in a new direction and takes it to an entirely different level of effectiveness.

Unlike turnaround (which implies implies incremental progress on the same plane) transformation implies a basic change of character and little or no resemblance with the past configuration or structure.

*http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/transformation.html

There are also key elements here that can be applied to our personal lives.

Firstly and importantly there are clear similarities between how people operate in the environment of an office and in there own lives.

So what are these key cross over areas?

Transformation has a certain level of permanency which in is very nature is different to change.

When people decide to make shifts in their own life or of a more general approach in the workplace there is a process that happens. This is known as the trans theoretical change model. Let us look at this and as we do maybe you can apply this to your own life.

Pre contemplation: when it is beyond our awareness that anything needs to change. We may be quite happily (or not) plodding along .The don’t know what you don’t know stage of being and thinking.

Contemplation: When we start to want to change whether that be in the way that we work and interact with people or something more selective and poignant for ourselves in our own life we then contemplate the change.

At this stage there is a self-enquiry as to what isn’t happening for us and what we would prefer things to be like. Things may be so bad that we are forced to look at the situation we are in and can now start to believe that the grass is greener and there must be a better way.

There can also be a passage of time in which many pros and cons are weighed up in what the change would bring and alter in both positive and negative ways.

Preparation: Clearing the decks, setting your house in order and getting ready for the change ahead and the work that is needed in order to make it happen.

We then move into action. In order for things to change it simply isn’t good enough or effective to think about the change. There needs to be an active movement towards creating a pathway and steps to what we want that is aligned with our values, that creates an energy shift and new direction.

We are being active in our own progress and doing not just being.

One of the most important stages of change is then the maintenance stage of the cycle.

You may have started to do things differently, work more effectively and generally be in a different place, which creates a noticing of this change in our lives.

In popular terms it is said that a habit takes 21 days to be embedded within our sub conscious. Whether this is true or whether it takes longer than this it needs to be maintained, worked with and support gained to increase the change to a level of permanency which could also be seen as positive transformation.

When people do not maintain the cycle at this level there can be what is known as a relapse, Back to how things were and the negativity that can rise from this point can set people back.

I also believe there could be shame and guilt thrown in. An inner critical parent that gives us a hard time for not keeping things moving.

People will then either give up and return to old ways or pick up the reigns and get moving again. Back on the horse.

I would also like to mention support at this juncture. We need to trust ourselves and we need to be able to trust others to show the support that we need in alter to transform our lives. Whether than be from our direct managers and peers or key people in our lives that we can share with and talk to. Some may need this more than others but to ask for help when we need it is crucial to maintaining the cycle of change.

The coaching framework is a great nurturing ground for this cycle to be looked at on every level and touch point.

The nature of the empathetic relationship between coach and client or peer can have a remarkable effect on the individual, congruently starting to shift perspective, create new ideas and strategies and also marked steps to reach the desired end goal.

I believe that within organisational structures there needs to be an open dialogue about the frustrations people feel and what the change could bring and how it can benefit not only the individual but also the impact in house on work related issues and concerns.

It is not effective to simply focus on the end result and how this can be reached in typical performance based coaching interactions.

People are emotive beings and if we can adjust to this and allow this to unfold and at the same time have a clear end outcome to strive towards we can help to create transformational shifts for people with empowering and long lasting results.

Getting over procrastination

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I will start this post with a question

What are you avoiding that you know would benefit you in your life?

Within my own experience as a transformational coach I have heard from clients in how they are resisting moving forward in certain areas and yet will happily do so in other aspects of their life that may not have such an impact.

Procrastination is not a unique dilemma and it causes many people a lot of frustration

The question is

Why do people procrastinate?

This could bring about a variety of answers and of course will be contextual to the individual coming to you for coaching and help. I will share my thoughts here and would love to hear your comments and for you to share your own experience on this subject.

Firstly I believe that procrastination goes somewhat deeper than we might first assume.

Why would people avoid doing what they often know would move them forward, create positive change and help shape their futures in transformational ways.

There could be number of reasons

Fear

Fear of being caught out, judged, reprimanded, told off for doing a bad job ,being anything less than perfect, being vulnerable and so much more.

Quite often these are childhood scripts and belief systems that have been picked up and added to in our own development.

Maybe a script of being perfect, don’t be seen or don’t be successful could be playing out which underlies the stuck feelings and procrastination.

Enjoyment

I think that people will generally (and this is a generalisation) spend time doing what they enjoy, what is easiest and what does not raise an emotional reaction from them.

Why would people spend time doing something they don’t want to and raises uncomfortable feelings? – whatever the reason.

Pay offs

When people don’t change and keep themselves where they are, what could they be gaining from this?

Although the behaviour / action or lack of action is not serving people on a conscious level it may well be serving them on a more subconscious platform.

They are possibly getting something from “not doing”

Sometimes people’s values are also beneath the surface or their procrastination.

For example you have a person – lets call him Mr Jones (keeping it simple) who knows that he would love to give a public speech on a topic close to his heart and in fact has the opportunity to do so.

A large audience would be there to see him, a guaranteed coverage from a well known tabloid and an opening of doors that would enhance his career and general financial state.

And yet Mr Jones leaves the preparation until the last minute, he does everything else that won’t help (watching catch up tv, going on the Internet, re arranging his furnishings, talking to his cat) and generally avoiding!

What he might be getting is a feeling of being safe, built into this is fear of “making a mistake” and being seen to “not be good at his job”.. That is far worse in his mind.

The end result is that Mr Jones avoids doing the necessary work involved or leaves it to the last minute – when the pressure is on …

The adrenaline is pumping and he is putting “himself” under pressure. It could also be a sense of control. The end result is not 100% tangible and can not yet be seen or felt.

Why would people trust in something that has no certain outcome? I believe that trust plays a large part in why people stop themselves moving forward.

Lack of trust in others, lack of trust in themselves.

After all who can they rely on?

I will also briefly introduce the self saboteur.

The person who will create drama and anguish for themselves , where in fact there is none.

I have often seen how people before a big event will stay up late, go out drinking, get tired, get unwell and will cancel at the last minute to avoid being seen or ….(fill in the gap)

There are many reasons why people procrastinate…I would like you to question your own motives and of course bring this into alignment to the clients you work with.

Get beneath procrastination not beaten by it. Do share your own stories and comments below.

Reviewing the past

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After a busy weekend of coach training and coaching my own clients I wanted to share my thoughts on helping people look at their lives in more positive ways.

A large part of coaching is to ascertain from the client that we are working with what they would like to achieve as an end goal or outcome, which of course will be based on the future.

When people are not moving forward in their lives in the way they want to there can be a great deal of resistance based on the way that they view their past.

This can cover a multitude of areas that can include, limiting beliefs that have been adopted from parenting, culture, religion, experience, media and much more.

It can also include rules for living or scripts that have also been created early in childhood by parenting and other areas and also that get added to within our proceeding developmental stages of growing up.

Within various areas of personal development and certainly within some therapeutic settings there is a great deal of looking at the past and examining parental relationships that have impacted us, and the way we might live today.

This can be a lengthy process and can also feel at times that things are not changing but going round in circles without a clear end in sight.

I am not saying that this is not useful for some people but how do we also look at the past in a more positive light that can help us move forward to what we desire with more confidence and resilience?

Also and importantly how can we help our clients make sense of things and see themselves in a more positive light when according to them they cant move forward?

In my experience the following has been very useful to allow for this to happen.

  • Go into a session with a strong understanding that the client is not broken
  • Be aware that the client will come with their “version” of reality that may not be based on fact or reality
  • Don’t buy into their story but simply listen to their version of events
  • Keep an eye out for changes in physiology that can give an indication on their filters and map of the world
  • Listen intently to the clients language and words that can hold important clues to how they are seeing things with their own internal representations of events that could have been filtered by deleting information, distorting what has happened and generalising where they could be seeing things as negative and with a tinge of doom and gloom
  • Hold space that allows for them to speak without judgement from you
  • Know that you are not there to fix the client but rather allow for honest and open conversations
  • When the time is right do start to loosen up their maps with curiosity and use a simple and person centred approach in doing so
  • Ask purposeful questions that have meaning for the client and what they bring to you to work on and improve
  • Do not feel that you have to rush to an end result
  • Be clear, confident and concise and if needs be get out of your own way and allow the session to unfold
  • Keep things on track by checking in where you are within the session in relation to why they are there with you in the first place

The past can be a great place for when people have accomplished success however small it may seem for the client.

A good question to ask yourself is

Do I need to be more focused and task orientated or more exploratory with this client?

Above all do not be afraid for the past to surface when it needs to and keep it simple.

Fear and Strokes within coaching

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When you coach clients they will often have a feeling of being stuck within a coaching session. They may have been trying to change for some time and actually already know what they want to accomplish.

This can be a good starting point for a coaching conversation that can help people to get clear on what the change will mean to them and also what the impact could of this in bigger life terms.

When clients start to intrepidly step outside of their comfort zones or situations that are familiar to them this can be a time of uncertainty, which can bring up a host of thoughts and feelings that can also be overwhelming for people to deal with.

The interesting part of this is that people want change but this can bring about fear even if the change would lead people into a better place and more positive way to live.

Quite often clients will also come with black and white views on how things “should” be based on their filters of experience along with other thought biases such as ignoring the positive, scanning for what they fear, over thinking, fortune telling, mind reading and more. (These are based on Cognitive Behavioural coaching approaches)

Through these filters people can create a fear of change that could be grounded in past experience

The key words here are past experience.

It may not always be relevant to what is happening now and also not based on reality but rather a perception of it. It could be a feeling of I wont be able to cope with the change, as I am not equipped to deal with it either emotionally or intellectually.

This is where you can come in as a coach to explore with your client what the change would mean to them but also to help examine and explore on deeper levels where the resistance is that is stopping them taking steps into what they want.

Is it fear of something going wrong and not being able to cope? or is it that they will have to give up something that they are holding on to?

People like to feel that they exist. When we look at the ways people create this feeling of existence there is a very interesting part of coaching that brings into the mix transactional analysis and specifically strokes.

What is a stroke?

Based on TA pioneered by Eric Berne a stroke is an act of recognition of our significance.

Also to add to this it is the thing we spend much of our time unconsciously seeking.

They help us feel alive!

There are eight qualities within strokes.

  • Verbal and non verbal
  • Positive and negative
  • Conditional and non conditional
  • Self and others

A very interesting stroke is that of self. Imagine you have had a very stressful busy week, many appointments at work back to back; you have been pushed for time and chasing your tail to get things done – not just for you but also for others. Maybe not eating properly or adequately resting.

You have wanted to do more for yourself, relax more and give yourself time to wind down.

Because of this not being achieved you could berate yourself with negative self-talk – beat your self up metaphorically and give yourself a hard time for not putting yourself first and start to be judgemental on yourself through negative self talk.

This could be seen as a negative – verbal self-stroke.

Does this sound familiar?

This very dynamic can also be highlighted within coaching sessions where people are talking to themselves in negative ways that stop them moving forward in their life bur are gaining a feeling of although it is negative I know I exist. Which is better than being ignored and not seen.

Of course it could also be a host of other things such as limiting beliefs, counter injunctions and so much more.

The key to being a useful coach in this respect is to really understand the client’s perception of things and coach where it will have the most impact.

Understand the clients fear and what meaning they are giving it – how are they fuelling this and could there be another way for them to view the situation, one that is less negative and more empowering?

Above all it is about curiosity into the clients life and world rather than being and what isn’t working for them.

Next time you coach don’t rush into the solution but allow the client to say what is really happening and coach ahead from that.

Are you setting your own goals for 2013?

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How would you like to be living your life in 2013?  Do you feel you have choice in this?

It is an interesting self-enquiry question that can ascertain how you perceive yourself and your options.

When a goal setting approach is needed you as a coach will spend a lot of time and energy on helping other people to set goals and create action plans to achieve them.

However you know by now that transformational coaching isn’t this linear and you will use a range of approaches, theories and techniques to facilitate change with the clients you are working with.

One of the biggest issues and concerns with goal setting is that people don’t set goals but merely talk about what it is that they desire in a nebulous way.

Have you thought of what you personally want next year?

There is something to be said for saying this out loud.

Sometimes writing down in a brainstorming way could also be useful without being too formulaic in outcomes or it might be that you do set more structured goals and explore how these could be achieved.

You could do a spot of self-coaching but also how else could you get help to achieve what you want?

Do you have your own coach? I am not saying this is compulsory of course, as you will find what works.

I have worked with a number of coaches myself. Not in terms of coming up with a set and workable action plan but more to gain a different prospective and a greater sense of clarity on what is current in my life and what I would like more of.

I also have seen with clients how there may be a logical understanding of the change that needs to happen but for some reason this isn’t always enough to shift focus and get into action.

Life is a rich tapestry of different areas that mean something to us.

Whether this be love, relationships, fun, career, finances, spirituality, self-growth or other parts of life.

I also see that coaches are generally very good at helping others but sometimes not so great in helping themselves.

I would also like to bring in the idea that if you don’t change what it is that you “say” is not working in your life what is it that you are holding on to or getting from keeping things as they are?

If you were to change, what would you have to deal with or let go of? Whether this inappropriate belief systems, comfort zones or more.

How would this be useful?

I also encourage people to get the right support for themselves to help with transition when needed and depending on the magnitude of the change and impact that this could have in their lives.

Also and with conviction I encourage people to keep things simple.

If something isn’t serving you then change it, if you are not living in accordance with your values then do something about it.

We can come up with a million (or maybe just a few!) excuses why we cant change but if we shifted our attention on we could have instead this may well be a better way of viewing things.

I also (this will be another post) encourage you to start to formulate your own business plan for 2013 in terms of being a coach, change maker or practitioner in helping others to achieve success.

I look forward to staying in touch with you in 2013 and sharing more from the world of personal transformation coaching and hearing what has been working for you.

transformation and your own learning as a coach

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Today I would like to share my own thoughts and experience in learning and how to bring this to clients.

When people learn a new skill to help others I believe there is an element of transformation that will be two fold.

Transformation for the clients that come to you for coaching, and also transformation in your own life that can enrich what you do and who you are in exciting ways.

I can cast my mind back to many different training courses that I have been on where I have learnt new skills and tools that whilst I am in the learning domain on the day can be exciting and purposeful but become diluted and less impactful after the event.

Whilst adding to my skill sets in personal development and coaching is not a bad thing in itself I also feel that to have the most impact personally I need to on some level connect with the learning that has taken place and part of this will be a certain self enquiry in to my own cognition, feelings and emotions and proceeding actions and behaviours that have shifted in light in what I have learnt.

What is the most useful part of the new experience and how can this be appropriately brought into my own client practice when coaching?

I also see this, as a bit of a balancing act that I need to be aware of. Not to bring my own agenda to the client – coach session that could impact the coaching exchange in negative ways.

I like to see my own learning as a container of experience that can sit comfortably in my conscious awareness that does not need to be discussed in front of a client.

I am not the benchmark of my client’s experience. I am just an explorer in their world and when underpinned by curiosity and connection can alleviate my need to get it right and be perfect.

I also do not need to fix the client in anyway.

Coaching is a wonderful and elegant exchange of conversation that is best served with meaning with a side dish of purpose.

A smorgasbord of richness and experience in my client’s world that is fully person centred and congruent with a strong belief from me that the client I am working with is not broken.

If I deliver a solution or fix the clients “apparent” challenge, who is this about?

I am also not going to be black and white here in saying that there aren’t times that this could be useful as there could be a great deal of frustration felt by the client if I am coaching them into dead ends when a simple suggestion or a well framed amount of advice could help them move ahead and with greater clarity.

I see time and again how people on our Personal Transformation Coaching course have had heart felt shifts on meaning, experience and I have had feedback that I have “seen” myself clearly for the first time in my life.

The conditioning from parenting is being questioned, some of what people continually do with less than desirable results may start to change and also the need for validation and approval from clients will start to shift into one of trusting the process and not needing to get a feel good from my clients changes but rather a deeper routed acceptance of my capabilities as a transformational coach.

When you are out in the world creating change ask yourself what can I learn and how can this be useful to others.

 

Time management for coaches

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One of the key areas of concern that will often raise a question to existing coaches is that of time management.

I will cover this in a number of ways today that I hope you find useful and that you can start to apply to your own practice and client work.

Firstly a start up question I would like to ask you is

Do you have “enough” time or are you spending time avoiding what you don’t like or feel confident in?

This is not time management as such but quite often (I can relate to this myself when I started out) a question that gained a real insight for me in to what I was potentially avoiding and why.

How can you change this?

So, now we turn our attention to the actual session of coaching.

I have often found that this an area that can raise different arenas of challenge for coaches.

It may be that you find sessions are overrunning in terms of time. Initially you have set a time slot for your coaching, whether that be an hour or thereabouts and you see that the session has overrun substantially.

What has led to this?

I see that at times clients will want to share what is on their mind and want to off load and talk. This is useful but at times can also create a question mark for you as the coach. When do you start to coach them and bring them back on track?

Firstly how is allowing them to “talk” useful to them without you needing to create the next steps or an action plan.

It may be that you feel you need to work on a set in stone outcome. Do you?

Framing the session and setting the scene

When I meet clients I will have already established through an initial discovery session why they have come to me for coaching, and what they are looking to gain from this, so that the actual time spent with my client in the first session is focused on the desire change.

I also say that “ today we have an hour – what is it you would like to gain from todays session”

This sets the scene and also enables a focus on time up front. I have found this very useful when working with clients.

Checking in

Rapport and connection is very important within coaching and by always checking the time can not only break rapport but also be quite irritating for clients!

That said it is important to keep track of where you are and what time you have left.

Not only for you but also the client may have further appointments after your time together in the session.

A watch placed to the side of you whilst you coach can be useful. If you are using a mobile phone make sure it is switched to silent! This also sets the boundaries and focus of the session in terms of time.

Emotions and time

How are these linked?

In my experience of transformational coaching I have sometimes observed that as the session is drawing to a close the client will bring to the coaching table an emotional subject that means the most to them.

At first I wondered what I wasn’t doing properly or to the best effect. When I questioned this I realised that clients could also be avoiding the most “emotional” areas of their life and throwing it in at the last minute.

How do you do you deal with this?

I would firstly acknowledge it and not just “ignore” it but also say that today this isn’t something that can be explored or resolved but that you are very happy to bring this into the next session.

You may want to also explore why this was not brought up earlier? This can prove very useful for clients to link this to deeper levels of meaning and provide great coaching material for future sessions.

Managing your own time

Rather a narrative here I thought it useful to keep it very simple (as I know that coaches can also overcomplicate things)

Prepare for your session – both practically and emotionally

Don’t allow time pressures to creep up and before you know it you are rushing around trying to get things ready for your session.

Coaching slots

If you are working maybe full or part time alongside building a coaching practice then you may want to allocate a coaching day or evening rather than be available whenever you are asked from clients – this can also look good from a scarcity point of view and showing that you have clients on going.

Time for you

Part of being a coach is to help people in their lives. Whatever this means to them. As in other fields of work that involve helping others do allow time to do what you enjoy that will give your life balance and fulfilment. Whatever that means to you.

 

mix and match in coaching

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With the complexity of clients and what they bring to coaching there is also a need for you as the coach to be flexible with the way you coach and the experience that you bring to a session.

A common thread in a lot of my posts is that coaching does not always need to bring in just a typical goal setting approach and tasked based formulae to helping people achieve outcomes, but can through coaching style conversations bring clarity, purpose and meaning to clients in their life.

I also see coaching as a dedicated art that needs to be practiced to hone the skill of being a coach.

Also the need to coach congruently, confidently and with the client at the centre of the dialogue is desired.

It is also true to say that depending on what the client brings to a session will determine the way you coach.

This may mean that you do work with smart goals to allow exploration of all the key points of the goal.

The key point here is that if we just focus on goal setting when other areas need to be uncovered and explored then we are not only not coaching ineffectively at times but actually not giving the client the best experience.

The core transformation for individuals may not be typical coaching questions in how are you going to get to your goal but what is getting in the way at present?

I have coached top executives in corporate settings that at first want to ”just” focus on the problem at hand and what isn’t working but also want to get a quick fix in getting better results for the business whether that be higher turnover, more profit or other areas of concern.

In fact one client said categorically that he didn’t want to talk about emotions.

Did this happen?

At first we looked at what he wanted to change in terms of his business and what this would mean to him and started to formulate very specific goals and how he would be able to measure success in his own way and words.

The coaching then took on a different energy when I asked if you know this to be what you want and what could help why aren’t you doing this already?

This is where we started to go beneath the surface of the goal and look at values of the company but also we started to look at my clients individual values in terms of his place as company director. This also brought into the mix limiting beliefs.

It was deemed through exploration that my client was striving for “perfection” his map of the world demanded this and when asked where has this come from? The clients’ parenting was brought into the equation.

How his father had given him messages as a child that you have to be perfect to succeed.

This was a task too much and a benchmark that caused my client to transfer the being perfect script onto peers and colleagues.

People were rebelling (a bit like resistant children to a critical parent) and key work tasks were not being completed and things were not getting done.

Staff were turning up late or not at all and the general atmosphere was negative and unproductive.

The useful part of this coaching session was that my client had a shift in perspective in how a deeply rooted belief system was getting in the way and causing issues.

I worked with my client to not change his values but to understand how his belief system was creating limitations for him. We worked on changing his limiting belief with a wonderful and powerful tool to help this happen.

The end results were that he was more realistic with himself in achieving success – he said a weight had been lifted (that he had been carrying since childhood) and the way he would work with his staff would be to get to know them more and to understand their drivers, motivations and values.

Part of this was to later bring in actions and accountability to these actions but the session was (as you can see) not just goal setting.

In subsequent sessions we reviewed progress and his staff morale was much better, sickness had decreased by 50% and targets being achieved were 6% higher, which increased bottom line profit.

The key to this transformation was that we did look at more personal areas of the client’s life but linked them to the goal at hand. The goal was not the fundamental milestone. Although we needed to start with this initially.

This was a very useful experience for my client and emotions were discussed but with purpose, confidence and skill to make them relevant to the client and their situation.

The next time you are coaching be flexible with your approach, understand what is required and trust yourself to work in the best way. “for your client”

 

Bridging gaps in coaching

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In todays post I would like to share my thoughts on the idea of bridging gaps within coaching.

In fact not just in coaching but also other areas for when you work with clients and people who are looking for change and transformation within their life.

A great example of this concept is within personal and romantic relationships.

Many people would say that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else or get into any form of personal relationship.

To make this clear I would like to introduce Mr Do-nothing who to be honest does not value himself very highly, is lacking in confidence and also not very experienced and knowledgeable in matters of the heart.

If you were to say to Mr Do-nothing you “have” to love yourself first before you can get into a relationship imagine the dilemma.

This is a man who has low self esteem (years of bullying at school didn’t help) a man who has few friends or social interaction (not because he doesn’t want to but he has little self confidence)

A man who is crippled with anxiety and depression (at times) but one thing he does know he doesn’t “love” himself. In fact he doesn’t actually like himself very much at all.

From this state to one of loving himself may seem a tall order.

Surely it would be a better approach to help Mr Do-nothing to start to learn to like himself? To create stepping-stones to get further ahead in his life. To start to see himself differently and in more empowering ways than he is currently. We can help our Mr (and Mrs) Do-nothings bridge this gap.

The same concept would apply when we are dealing with performance based coaching. If a staff member is not achieving what the manager requires we need to have an honest approach when working with this individual. They may not be able to turn from low performer to high performer overnight.

We as the coach can bridge the gap in helping them “get better”.

This could be a skills gaps, a confidence boost or motivation, or simply for someone to pay them attention in different ways that could be more empowering and positive.

How can we best motivate others to move forward “towards “optimal living or performance?

We need to support, encourage, challenge and ask purposeful and powerful questions that help our clients think differently. This can be a process of self-discovery for people that come to us for help.

The truth of the matter is that when we coach we need to understand that we may not transform people’s lives in one session (although I am not saying that this cant happen).

What we do is to create a space for exploration and ultimately help people move towards what they desire.

This can be slowly or quickly but will materialize if we work with our clients best intentions at heart and keep this in mind with any coaching sessions that we undertake.

Through our coaching conversations, goal based approaches when required and using our skills and knowledge we can help create a hypothetical bridge from their current state or situation to where they want to be.

It is our role as change creators to allow this to happen for the people we work with.

Transformational updates from the world of coaching

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Someone asked me recently how has coaching changed recently? this was a great question.

Rather than keep this secret or I thought it would be useful to share my experience with you all.

Coaching is using the GROW model

The coaching world has shifted, changed and should now be brought up to date. The complexities of peoples goals will not always fit into the GROW model, There is so much more to coaching than just GROW, Somatic coaching, Cognitive behavioral coaching, Transactional analysis, Gestalt Coaching and NLP to name a few.

Coaching is all about goal setting

This is simply not true. Coaching is about helping someone understand what is holding them back and where the stuckness is before you move forward to what they want to change and achieve and it is not useful to ask how will you do that? too quickly in a session.

Coaching is VERY different to counseling

Again, this is untrue. There are many cross over areas. Holding space for a client, allowing them to talk about what it is that they want to without judgement, emotional issues, interpersonal relationships, negative cycles of behavior and also compulsive behaviors and much more can be effectively worked with in the coaching relationship.

You never give advice in coaching

Why would you not? If it is blended with a coaching approach, i.e. open and hypothetical questions, client centered listening, reflection, clarification, feedback and more how is giving advice a problem? There is no point in a client banging their head against a brick wall trying to find the answer. This is not useful.

You need to know exactly what the client wants to work on

Part of being a truly exceptional coach is trusting your intuition, not knowing and taking risks, bringing about a general sense of curiosity for the clients view of their world, connecting with them, creating trust, building rapport and challenging them. Also helping them to create a new way of life. Also a truly skilled coach will not need the comfort zone attached to a set direction to coach in before the session.

You MUST be free of your own issues before you can coach.

Is this setting up yourself as needing to be perfect? Is this not the issue with clients thinking they have to be? Why would you do this also?

It is true that you need to be in the best state and space to coach congruently and with best impact. This does not mean that you have to be an enlightened guru with no issues or life challenges.

You can’t make money from coaching.

Why not? Coaching can be extremely lucrative and can far outweigh the hourly rate that you might get in an office environment. Coaches will charge different amounts but also they wouldn’t need to be a conveyor belt of productivity. You wouldn’t coach for 8 hours a day for example.

This is not the total list but I hope it brings you up to date with some of the areas of coaching that can have the most impact for a client and may start to shift your own thinking.