Monthly Archives: May 2012

How Transformation explodes development

by
Reply

First of all let me say to you that transformation is not something that you actively seek with clients.

It isn’t something that you need to look out for and expect.

Old style coaching dictates an approach that focuses on achieving the outcome as the result and measurement of success of the coaching interaction.

I believe that traditional coaching methods focus too much on the head level with clients.

What does this mean?

When you work with clients by focusing on the results this can be linear, practical and very black and white in terms of did they or didn’t they achieve what they set out to do.

We then as coaches can get stuck into that same head space wondering if we did a good job and judging our performance on what is being presented to us.

When you work at a transformational level you work on the heart level.

I am sure that you have witnessed with any sort of work you undertake with people there is a lot of thinking that can get in the way.

The over analytical view of a situation, the working it out in all or nothing terms and trying to come up with a solution that satisfies a tick box approach to getting things done.

When you coach from the heart you bypass the negative chatter, the excuses and rationalizing of negative life positions.

You start to get in touch with what is core for the clients on the level of emotions and feelings.

To throw actions at someone is not effective. You need to find out on an emotional level the impact of change for the client.

Allow them to understand fully what this means to them. What can they gain from this new knowledge and how can this help them to live life better.

The very nature of creating a transformational space allows the client to feel that they have permission to voice what they want or are concerned about without being judged or reprimanded.

This very dynamic can shift on an internal level the need to be right, the justification of how they are currently living and so much more.

By allowing someone to be in his or her heart space this can be deeply transformational for the individual.

I have created some tips to bring about transformation for clients.

  • Allow silence to be an integral part of the session
  • Keep eye contact with the client and allow them to feel safe, knowing that you are there
  • If you see a display of emotion don’t look away – this can create a shame response from the client in “this is a bad thing”
  • Allow them to be uncomfortable with emotions – this can shine the light of consciousness on something they could be avoiding in dealing with
  • Don’t rush in to change their emotional state
  • People need to express what they need to
  • Use the client’s words when repeating back what you have heard; this creates a deep sense of knowing and rapport
  • Once they are ready, gently bring them back into the here and now by positive questioning and build on resources.
  • Allow people to go through the process of pain, vision, and steps
  • Allow the pain / emotions to surface, help create a positive vision for the future and then encourage steps to get there.

Above all be yourself and trust the process.

Don’t be afraid to be there fully and 100% for your client. You are great and believing this is the key to success and transformational shifts for your clients.

Enjoy what you do and know how remarkable you can be.

Transformational Tip – Creating Presence

by
Reply

 

 

 

In coaching circles you may have heard of presence and the need to build this into sessions and with clients.

I will share with you my experience in creating presence and give you some simple to work with tips.

What is presence?

Presence is being fully available to the client, allowing the client to experience his or her own concerns and behaviors in the moment knowing that you are there to support them.

How does presence help?

It creates a safe place for the client in which they feel supported and understood, This in turn builds trust and leads to a deeper sense of rapport with your client.

Presence increases flow of communication – the client will open up and be willing to talk openly and honestly in their current challenges and circumstances and can also bring about a greater clarity for the client in what they would like to work on and ultimately achieve in their life.

It allows for genuine exploration of where they are right now in relation to the desired outcome.

By being present in the session for your client they are more likely to be open to new ways of doing things, question their own thoughts and self-judgments and trust that they can achieve a new more positive direction and focus for what they truly want.

It also builds a sense of understanding – possibly non verbal, a sense of knowing even if no words are exchanged and you are not trying to fit the client into a particular model of coaching.

Creating presence in the session

  • Be curious with yourself and the client.What is happening for them? I wonder why they just said that? –
  • Being in touch with your own desire to know and find out can build presence.
  • Center yourself through body posture – get comfortable not uncomfortable.
  • Breathe! Feel your feet grounded on floor; be aware of surroundings and any possible interruptions to the flow of the coaching.
  • Use eye contact in session, re cap but allow for silence and processing from client.
  • Don’t jump in and fix! Be there for your client not for you.
  • Do not risk bringing your own agenda to the session you are coaching the client not the other way around!
  • Display confidence and empathy through positive tonality and powerful questions – even if they are very simple.
  • Be comfortable with space unfilled in conversation – you might feel that they have not understood what you have just asked them but why not wait and find out.
  • Question your own reasons for saying/ doing what you are – is it in the best interests of your client? What does it mean to them? How does this best serve the client and the reason for them coming to me for coaching.

Practicing presence in your daily life can have a very useful impact within coaching sessions.

Connection and awareness of what is going on around you. A general curiosity for people. Be the silent observer of people in daily life.Notice body language, words exchanged and bringing about a general curiosity for how people interact with one another and also how they are “talking”

See how this can transform your interactions and results.

GROW no more

by
Reply

 

 

 

Welcome to my soap box and do climb up here with me. There is plenty of room!

This is not a serious analogy of what I mean but as the expert in Transformational Coaching I would like to talk about a well known coaching model: GROW.

I want to make it very clear that I am not saying to drop GROW with no other approaches at your disposal but would also like to make it very transparent as to the benefits of other approaches.

When I think of the GROW model I think of an action based approach to coaching that is structured in its approach and with a key focus on action plans that build in timings and accountability within the model.

The concern I have have with this and in my experience is that clients will follow action plans and may well achieve what they set out to do.

“How is this a problem?”, you may ask!

What I have seen happen many times is that the client will be happy for a while, be productive for a short space of time and feel OK.

This may not last. And that’s where the question lies.

In the middle of the change, what happens to people that creates a retreat in their accomplishments back to where they started?

Sometimes with a higher degree of frustration and being not OK. The insider’s tip is that the real work has not been done. The level of deeper meaning may not have been talked about or explored for the client.

Beneath the surface of a goal will sit the client’s values and beliefs, attitudes, memories,  and so much more.

This is where the shifts can occur. On this level of coaching that sits beneath the surface of the initial “goal”. When coaching at this level it will allow for a fusion of skills, approaches, presence, curiosity and creation of a new way of being in the world for the client not just doing and actions.

This approach blends Cognitive Behavioral coaching, Transactional Analysis, NLP, Gestalt, spirituality and more.

People do want more than change. You may have heard the the only constant is change. This may be true.

Transformation is so much more.

These coaching skills can be learned, practiced and honed to fit in with who you work with, how you work and who your target groups are.

Give it a go and see what happens!

The Law of Action in coaching

by
Reply

I was thinking today how being a spiritual person can fit into life coaching. I have a number of ideas and I would like to share them with you.

First of all what is “being spiritual”

We all have different versions of this and of course yours may be different to mine.

Some believe it is about having trust in a higher energy, the connection with that energy and being able to utilize this for the better good. For some it could mean being active in their spirituality by meditating, doing yoga, working with other complementary concerns, reiki healing, crystals, gongs and other approaches.

For me when I look at what I see is a spiritual person I see a wholeness that can exude from them, a sense of understanding their place in the world, maybe having a higher purpose and being ok with that.

The danger as I see it with spirituality is that it can also be an avoidance strategy that people turn too that makes them feel better or avoid taking responsibility for their lives.

The law of attraction is in play as I write and as I sit and think about what I want it will come to me. I agree that we need to start from a place of knowing what we want and allowing that to take on board a sense of reality for us, to make this come alive and take shape.

I would then ask

Is this enough?

From experience I see how time and again people wont put action into getting what they want and then become frustrated with the end result or not getting results.

I do agree in putting it out to the universe to say what we want and believing in a universal energy to fuel that want.

I also believe in action, accountability and creating shifts in awareness that the universe doesn’t know about.

In fact we may not know about it either.

Within a transformational coaching session these desires can start to surface, blocks of potential may be removed and accountable actions built in to client interactions that a process of questioning has brought about.

The power here is that people don’t do this by themselves. The end result for the client is one of more clarity, purpose, awareness and direction. If you are coaching someone who believes in the Law of Attraction and all things spiritual it wont be your job to challenge this (unless it is useful!)

You would want to work with them and create goals and shifts based on their model of the world. What they are seeing is true and working with that in creative ways.

There may be times that challenge is entirely appropriate for the coaching session and that through this approach the client can go away with more clarity and also a wow moment that they might say

I can’t believe that’s how I have been living my life!We don’t know what we know until we know it.

This is true of most things and whether you choose to live by the Law of Attraction or the Law of Action I’m ok with that.

I would ask you could you work with both to get what you want?

The Value of Values – within teams and staff

by
Reply

When you work with colleagues or clients, be that in a corporate setting or on a more personal basis in terms of life coaching you need to fully understand what lies at the core of the desire for change for the individual.

What drives them to make a shift and change what they currently do and how will this impact them to move forward to a more rewarding end outcome.

It is true to say that in corporate settings the work undertaken is often following a path towards a set end result that is determined by management that mirrors company mission statements. These are key areas that filter through the organisation to create a congruent working environment and get buy in from staff to fit in and do a “good job”

The problem with this is that beneath the pre-defined goals will be individuals that feel overlooked in terms of their own values.

When these values are not being met this can create a lack of commitment, and frustration that can have a wider impact on teams and general morale in the office.

How many times have you worked in an office or team and felt overlooked?

Having worked in corporate settings in the past. It was clear to me how the emphasis was on getting results without paying proper attention to what staff wanted in terms of support and feeling acknowledged and individual.

There is a strong element of fear and control within managers to keep staff in line with set tasks, and key performance indicators that look good on paper and also maintain a public face of success.
Within many companies there are unhappy staff, lacking in motivation, not wanting to be there, creating a sense of doom and gloom for others and ultimately being unhappy.

I am wondering how many people start to feel dread on a Sunday afternoon thinking about work on a Monday?

Please do not think I am suggesting that this is true in all companies and I have no doubt that there will be happy staff around the globe that look forward to going to work on a daily basis.
It is where the problem exists that we need to focus on to start to create changes in corporate fields and not shy away from seeing staff as individuals with their own needs and values.

We then need to start to get to know our staff to understand them as these individuals and not just a cog in a bigger wheel.

How can you start to do this?

I have put together some tips and tools.

1. Have a get to know you session with staff. This can be structured with pre-defined, coaching questions

• What do you like about your job and enjoy most?
• What do you consider a good day at work would be like for you?
• How would you feel at the end of the day?
• How is that different to now?
• What is important to you in your job?
• When this is being met how do you feel?
• Thinking about support, what do you need?

This is a not a have to list but rather some ideas to get to know who you manage and how to work with them

2. Follow up

• Have a set time for check in with your staff – not just as a team but on a one to one basis
• Make sure that this is stuck to and don’t let meetings that don’t need to happen get in the way!
• Don’t promise what you cant deliver, this can just add to feelings of frustration and unhappiness

3. Reward success

• When people are rewarded they feel good, they do good and they get better with time.
• Don’t just reward for perfection, getting 100% on a test, never being late for work, reward progress

4. Coach people to improve – don’t just tell them what to do

• Get experienced in coaching
• Get qualified
• Go on a course (www.thesmartschool.co.uk)
• Learn how to ask powerful and purposeful questions
• Create an environment for exploration
• Know what you are doing – don’t hide behind simply telling people what to do to make you feel safe

This isn’t a one size fits all approach but if you start to change what you do and how you do it this can create a change that is significant and empowering for others and yourself

Try something new today!

Cognitive Behavioural Coaching

by
Reply

When I think of coaching and all that people believe coaching to be there is a strong emphasis on task-based approaches leading to a goal being achieved and quite often action plans that focus on doing rather than being.

Within CBC (Cognitive Behavioural Coaching) there are some key pillars that underpin client interactions.

  1. Coaching provides a safe place for personal exploration
  2. The dynamic of “effective coaching” allows for self actualization for the client
  3. It is fully person centred and integrative
  4. CBC allows deeper meaning for the client and their experience and goes beneath the goal as the focus of the session

Cognitive behavioural coaching focuses on the internal world of the client, which could include values, beliefs, cognitions, physiology, emotions and results. READ MORE >>

Coaching as an Art

by
Reply

When I think of art, immediately I might think of wonderful and alluring pictures in galleries that I have been to. Sometimes these pictures are simple in their very nature and draw the observer in with concepts and ideas.

We add meaning to what we are presented with and there can be an emotional connection in that moment.

To me, no one captured this “concept” more than Salvador Dali.

What do you see in the image below?

http://coachburke.homestead.com/files/dalislave.jpg

In this painting, Dali pictures a woman looking at a scene in the slave market where people interact in front of an arched doorway.

The two figures dressed in black and white form the face (eyes, cheek bones, chin, & neck) of the French Philosopher Voltaire. The archway forms the top of his head.

Dali was showing that if in real life people dressed just like this were in this exact position with this exact background, then just for an instant a distant person would be able to perceive the form of Voltaire’s face, and of course it would disappear as soon as any of the people in the marketplace moved.

Is this what you first see?

To me this idea captures the concept of coaching as an art. READ MORE >>

Taking Risks in Coaching

by
Reply

Recently I was facilitating a coaching circle in London with coaches of different levels of experience and backgrounds and noticed a number of key aspects to people’s interactions with clients.

As a practising coach, it is true to say when I first started out that I “played it safe” with my coaching sessions and client work.

What do I mean?

When a client came to me with an issue or a goal that they would like to achieve my first reaction was how could they do that? What are the actions that would lead to the end result that they say that they want?

This was a typical goal focused approach to coaching with the focus on the end result as an external validation of achievement.

I have a secret to share. This is not transformational coaching – this is purely an A – B journey based on what we hear from the client. READ MORE >>

Introducing Transformational Coaching

by
Reply

Welcome to my page and the home of Transformational Coaching.

When I decided to write this post I asked myself what makes the difference between coaching as a pure solution focused approach and Transformational Coaching.

The difference has been shown to me in my work with clients and the amazing results that this has opened up for them. To me transformation happens on two levels.

Firstly for the reflective practitioner who has mastered their own craft.

This would have come about not just through reading books, attending training courses and seminars but by being authentically present to their own life experience which can bring about a sense of unspoken understanding for the client. It can be understood in the client feeling safe to open up and engage within their own internal landscapes, this in turn can help them to start to let go of the need to control everything in their life and take clear and positive steps forward with renewed faith, confidence and vision for how they want their life to be and improve.

This is done by the coach being an observer of the client. Being a witness to the self actualization that takes place for them, the coach is not the lynchpin in the change for the client but merely a highly skilled and congruent practitioner who helps facilitate a sense of “can do”. Holding an empowering view that the client is not in fact broken but merely unable (for whatever reason) to move ahead with full confidence and unshakeable determination.

I have been part of some amazing displays of transformation within my coaching work.

Once transformation has occurred it simply isn’t acceptable for people to find themselves back at the start thinking here I am again.

People want more than this. It isn’t good enough to focus on coaching as purely a set of external results in a traditional target and goal based approach.

People are for more complex than this and by working on deeper levels of experience both past and present with the client this unlocks amazing self empowerment and resources and leads on to a life filled with far more purpose and direction.

I am very excited by these shifts and encourage you to go for more!  Start to create your own transformation.