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Courage in the open space of coaching |
I often consider the pros and cons of using “models” in coaching.
They can certainly be useful to provide frameworks which help sessions become more effective. And models are great when you’re starting out and even as an experienced coach to remind yourself of things you might have missed – questions that could create change.
But, you know, ultimately the true art of the transformational coach (as opposed to say a performance coach) is bringing personal presence and an open space for the client’s self-discovery to be nurtured. This requires trust in your capacity to hold that space and to ask the questions that begin to loosen up the client’s model of the world.
That’s why, at the Smart School, we moved away from the GROW model (a perfectly adequate coaching model by the way) and created a pathway, called TOOLKIT, which is less a model than a way of seeing the whole coaching journey.
From building Trust, to defining Outcomes, to Opening up the client’s experience of the world and then Loosening it up, to teasing out their existing Knowhow, resources and capabilities and Identifying options for change to Tasking themselves to take action, TOOLKIT offers a journey that can span weeks or even months rather than a model that fits into one session.
That takes courage in your ability as a coach to keep the space for self-discovery open. Sometimes coaches are so intent on results that they forget transformation takes time!
For me this is all summed up beautifully in a book I’m reading right now called “Love’s Executioner” by the existential psychotherapist, Irvin Yalom.
Now, of course Yalom is talking here about therapy but I would like you to substitute therapy and therapist for coaching and coach and patient for client. Then try it on for size:
“…the capacity to tolerate uncertainty is a prerequisite for the profession. Though the public may believe that therapists guide patients systematically and sure-handedly through predictable stages of therapy to a foreknown goal, such is rarely the case: instead…therapists frequently wobble, improvise, and grope for direction. The powerful temptation to achieve certainty through embracing an ideological school and a tight therapeutic system is treacherous: such belief may block the uncertain and spontaneous encounter necessary for effective therapy.”
I think that when coaches reach that level of courage around their coaching they begin to step into a transformational place.
Filed Under Transformational Coaching
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The secret to connecting with your niche: know thyself |
From the moment I decided I wanted to get involved in coaching, I realised I needed to find a niche. I had already done enough research to know that. Like many, I had no idea what I wanted to focus on, so I started a page in a notebook for ideas. I still have this list, and it’s always entertaining to read through it.
It’s a list that’s made up of personal interests (holistic wellbeing), things I wanted to help people with (life purpose), major life experiences (starting my own business, divorce), etc. I wrote down every niche idea that occurred to me. I did go through a brief period where I thought It would be easiest to just pick two and focus on those, but deep down I knew I had to choose one.
Yet none of them felt quite right. Read more
Filed Under Transformational Coaching
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Claim your OWN fantastic |
I was listening to someone I know speak recently about a conference that they were going to run by an amazing person.
This person was going to be talking about how to change your life, how to create success and also how to be fantastic.
This inspired me to write my ideas of being fantastic.
I hear so many people approach their lives in a way of when I achieve …x…..I can become ….y…..
They put limitations on their potential based on an idea that I cant become ……… until I have …..
Whether that be the perfect job, the loving relationship, affluence, a fitter body, a stimulated and intelligent mind and so much more. Read more
Filed Under Uncategorized
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The client already has all the resources they need – NLP Case Study #3 |
Today I saw Clare, one of my regular clients, who initially came to see me a bit more than a year ago for help with low self esteem. Despite having completely sorted out most of her issues, Clare continues to come back because she enjoys her sessions and as she describes it, in her very busy life it’s an opportunity to take some “me time”.
Clare came into my practice feeling quite under the weather and mentioned having a bad sore throat. In the past we have worked on her physical symptoms, such as stomach pain or back ache with impressive quick results, so Clare asked me if we could do the same on her throat. Read more
Filed Under NLP & Hypnotherapy
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